February was a tough month. It forced me to face a lot of emotions, fears, regrets. Although there were nights where I drowned them out with alcohol and television. Anything to avoid my own thoughts.

I had no desire to write or bake. I mostly stayed off snapchat and instagram. I didn't keep up with my friends as I usually do. I essentially kept to myself. Being with family is what energized me. It forced me to get out of the house and once I was out, I was fine. Seeing the kids run around and finding joy in everything gave me a new perspective.

This month I am trying to get back to what was normal but I still feel off kilter. All I really want to do is to take a trip. Somewhere that requires a long drive and being out in nature. I feel the impulsive need to do it.