I feel good. Like really good. Like I am inner smiling good. I can't help it. I am glowing. I am radiating.
On January 5, 2015 I turned in my two weeks notice. I spent 10 years at a good company, made great friends, learned a lot, grew up, and was able to settle down and get myself in order. However, that phase is over. I felt it and knew it was time to move on. I will be forever grateful for that time.
On January 19, 2015 at 3:00pm PST, I start a new phase. It is the phase of the risk taker, the unknower , the dream chaser, the life grasper. It feels so right. It feels like I can breathe. It is scary but in the best way. I listened to what others thought was best for so long and now I am doing what I believe, what I know, to be truly what is best for myself. Liberating.
For once, I don't feel the need to write up some new year's resolutions. It might have to do with the fact that I am now finally ready to acknowledge what it is that I want. That was difficult enough to do. It was hard admitting what I want because that put it out there with the possibility of not achieving it. I don't care if I fail anymore. Failing means I went after it. Failing is better than not trying at all. Failing means I am living. I am awake.
I spent years with a void I couldn't fill. I complained, wondering how so many know what it is that they want at such a young age. I laugh now because deep down I always knew. The signs are plastered all over drawn out journals, books, online posts, pictures from all those years. I just wasn't ready to accept it. I am now. So now I smile. I am not naive. I know it won't be easy but who cares? The toughness will shape me, will teach me, will make me better. And all the while I will secretly be loving it because I'll do it with love. Love for the life I was meant for.