Friday, October 23, 2015

I recently finished Mindy's book and loved it even more than her first book. She writes honestly and with a sense of humor. I admire that about her.

One of the things she discussed was confidence. She didn't give the usual advice you hear everywhere. It wasn't superficial. She said, "confidence is like respect, you have to earn it." How great it that? It's refreshing to hear because it is not often that we hear of hard work. She worked hard. She put in the long hours. She worked on her craft. She earned that confidence.

And of course I've heard it before.
Picasso: Learn the rules like a pro, so you can break them like an artist.
Henri Cartier Bresson: Your first 10,000 photographs are your worst.

But I never thought much of it in regards to confidence.

When I was younger I was a lot more confident and that is probably because I didn't base my confidence on my looks (my appearance was the last thing on my mind) or material processions and also because I put effort and work into most things I did. I was least confident when I wasn't prepared.

My 20s were definitely the roller coaster of confidence. My appearance somehow shot up to the top of what I based it on. And when it wasn't based on my looks it was based on wanting/acquiring material things. I can't go back in time to change that but I can opt to become who I'd like to be. I don't want to be known for my looks. I want to be known for my work, my contribution, my brain. It's much too easy to slip away from that when there are images all around me telling me quite the opposite. I just have to remember that feeling, the feeling of peace, when I am true to myself. Maybe I won't fit in as well as I have in the past but that's the risk. Do I want to blend in or do I want to be authentic and stand out? My introverted/people-pleaser self wants nothing more than to quietly blend in but then it'd be a waste of potential.

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