It's almost my birthday eve. Last year had the expectation of being "big"/"important" as I was turning 30. But this year I have the pleasure of turning 31. I am very much looking forward to it. I love being in my 30s. It feels good. I feel good. I have never felt more like myself. (Well except for when I was 17-but I am getting back to that).

This year, on my 31st birthday, I plan to drive to Joshua Tree. I've never been but have heard great things. Last year I drove to Big Sur and it was such a great experience that I want to keep it going. It is my wish to try something new each year. I still desperately want to go to the grand canyon but for now Joshua Tree will do. I love being somewhere I have never been before. I love being surprised. I love having a new perspective.

I have to work most of Sunday so I'll enjoy tomorrow, explore Saturday, and get back to reality Sunday.

Dreams have been a big discussion these last few days so I thought I better start now. I've always wished I could have artistic qualities as both my brothers are extremely talented. It must have skipped me, the middle child. I do enjoy writing so I'll focus on that, here.

While there is hopefulness in this post, there is also sadness on my mind. My grandma hasn't been doing so well. Almost two years ago I wrote about my grandpa's passing. And my grandma is a tough, stubborn woman. I love that about her but it also sucks when she is being stubborn about her meds and food/fluids. So I am here praying and hoping she gets better. And I can only imagine how tough it must be for her.

Yes, 31 will be a growing year, as all the years are. Love, adventure, and the unknown, it's all in there. No matter what, I will never stop being vulnerable. I will never stop loving. I will never stop being myself.